Visit Malang Where Satire’s Real
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| Depositphotos |
This story was going to start by saying Beyoncé winning the Grammys was a godsend to the Indonesian media, but on reflection that might be dubbed impiety by those desperate to be offended.
Better report that the American singer’s triumph ticked all the boxes - glamour, entertainment, celebrity, music and fame. All it needed was to lift the story from US outlets and republish.
OK for newspapers and magazines that could cut-and-paste to suit their layouts, but the TV channels had a problem.That’s because the artist has been gifted with a treasure chest that she shows with pride, not hides with shame.
Her generous assets comforted her three sucklings as intended by nature. Also pleasured have been her millions of fans,including a sizeable number of men who appreciate the talents of beautiful women.
Though not the misogynists in TV stations.
For some reason which readers of Indonesia Expat can explain, tape-editors mix meteorology with mammaries.
They did this by downloading clouds from the weather bureau and dropping them onto the singer’s ample cleavage,not to generate rain but to smother the lovely hills of the Texan’s skinscape.
Readers who favor overseas movies on Indonesian TV know blurrers are fickle. There’ll be a decolletage cover-up in one frame then clear vision moments later.
Perhaps the censors get exhausted by watching excesses of flesh so dash outside to have a smoke and cool their lust but forget to stop the tape.
I’ve been told, but don’t believe because the explanation is ridiculous in a progressive and tolerant nation, that this blurring is to protect viewers’ sensitivities. That it interferes with balanced adults’ interest is of lesser concern.
There's also an absence of logic. No problem with vision of suicide bombs splattering blood and limbs across places of worship, but outrage at the sight of bodyparts that wobble in arenas of entertainment.
These bits are owned by more than half the adults in this country. So they know what they look like and how they feel.
The 49 per cent who don’t have that joyful experience spend much of their time hoping to share - within marriage, of course.
But back to the cloud cover generated by a low depression. Not the type which comes with barometric pressures but the pressure of prudes who think our Creator-given bodies are sinful.
Most of us believe otherwise and keen to celebrate the natural pleasures of consensual ***. We’ll blur the word lest it incite experimentation, but it rhymes with REX.
Father-knows-best was the ideology of last century, supposedly scrapped when we moved to democracy. But the old ethos persists.
In Malang, where this observation is being keyboarded between thunderclaps and lightning bolts, the upright administrators of the charming hilltown have plenty of work, particularly on the roads.
The daily downpours gouge tyre-tearing craters in the asphalt that demand immediate attention. The swarms of motorbikes choking the narrow streets makes commuting a misery - controls required. Traffic rules help, though only if obeyed. Maybe more police on patrol?
But our lawmakers have instead chosen to concentrate on Jalan Ijen. They call it a boulevard which is no exaggeration.
Two wide one-way roads,broad and mainly straight, separated by a manicured nature strip,a curated forest of blossoms. On the flat flanks great villas display the restrained and gracious architecture of colonial days.
This is not a place to rev the engine, but to throttle back and admire. At a long-gone enlightened era 80 benches were installed. Here the weary can rest awhile and enjoy the ambience.
Or could until one lawmaker noticed that men were sitting next to women - or vice-versa, with stress on the first word. Worst still, they looked young and happy - qualities that affront the jealous.
The Jawa Pos which broke this exclusive story revealed that some politicians wanted all the benches removed to stop teenagers ‘making out’, whatever that means Teens won’t understand because it’s from the age of pterodactyls and prigs.
Taking out all the street furniture was eventually considered too extreme, so the solution has been to wire bamboo sticks across the seats, denying comfort to exuberant teens, weary pensioners and bemused tourists who must wonder if there’s been a Taliban takeover.
Visit Malang Where Satire’s Real Duncan Graham
This story was going to start by saying Beyoncé winning the Grammys was a godsend to the Indonesian media, but on reflection that might be dubbed impiety by those desperate to be offended.
Better report that the American singer’s triumph ticked all the boxes - glamour, entertainment, celebrity, music and fame. All it needed was to lift the story from US outlets and republish.
OK for newspapers and magazines that could cut-and-paste to suit their layouts, but the TV channels had a problem.That’s because the artist has been gifted with a treasure chest that she shows with pride, not hides with shame.
Her generous assets comforted her three sucklings as intended by nature. Also pleasured have been her millions of fans,including a sizeable number of men who appreciate the talents of beautiful women.
Though not the misogynists in TV stations.
For some reason which readers of Indonesia Expat can explain, tape-editors mix meteorology with mammaries.
They did this by downloading clouds from the weather bureau and dropping them onto the singer’s ample cleavage,not to generate rain but to smother the lovely hills of the Texan’s skinscape.
Readers who favor overseas movies on Indonesian TV know blurrers are fickle. There’ll be a decolletage cover-up in one frame then clear vision moments later.
Perhaps the censors get exhausted by watching excesses of flesh so dash outside to have a smoke and cool their lust but forget to stop the tape.
I’ve been told, but don’t believe because the explanation is ridiculous in a progressive and tolerant nation, that this blurring is to protect viewers’ sensitivities. That it interferes with balanced adults’ interest is of lesser concern.
There's also an absence of logic. No problem with vision of suicide bombs splattering blood and limbs across places of worship, but outrage at the sight of bodyparts that wobble in arenas of entertainment.
These bits are owned by more than half the adults in this country. So they know what they look like and how they feel.
The 49 per cent who don’t have that joyful experience spend much of their time hoping to share - within marriage, of course.
But back to the cloud cover generated by a low depression. Not the type which comes with barometric pressures but the pressure of prudes who think our Creator-given bodies are sinful.
Most of us believe otherwise and keen to celebrate the natural pleasures of consensual ***. We’ll blur the word lest it incite experimentation, but it rhymes with REX.
Father-knows-best was the ideology of last century, supposedly scrapped when we moved to democracy. But the old ethos persists.
In Malang, where this observation is being keyboarded between thunderclaps and lightning bolts, the upright administrators of the charming hilltown have plenty of work, particularly on the roads.
The daily downpours gouge tyre-tearing craters in the asphalt that demand immediate attention. The swarms of motorbikes choking the narrow streets makes commuting a misery - controls required. Traffic rules help, though only if obeyed. Maybe more police on patrol?
But our lawmakers have instead chosen to concentrate on Jalan Ijen. They call it a boulevard which is no exaggeration.
Two wide one-way roads,broad and mainly straight, separated by a manicured nature strip,a curated forest of blossoms. On the flat flanks great villas display the restrained and gracious architecture of colonial days.
This is not a place to rev the engine, but to throttle back and admire. At a long-gone enlightened era 80 benches were installed. Here the weary can rest awhile and enjoy the ambience.
Or could until one lawmaker noticed that men were sitting next to women - or vice-versa, with stress on the first word. Worst still, they looked young and happy - qualities that affront the jealous.
The Jawa Pos which broke this exclusive story revealed that some politicians wanted all the benches removed to stop teenagers ‘making out’, whatever that means Teens won’t understand because it’s from the age of pterodactyls and prigs.
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Taking out all the street furniture was eventually considered too extreme, so the solution has been to wire bamboo sticks across the seats, denying comfort to exuberant teens, weary pensioners and bemused tourists who must wonder if there’s been a Taliban takeover.
Undeterred the couples are now getting down and dirty on the grass among flowerbeds, likely to be sprayed with herbicide once the decorum detectives sniff villainy.
But that’s not all. Security squads will ensure bosom pals don’t go literal. . Duties of the men in black (Motto: We Hate Life So You Must Too) don’t include stopping bikers riding on the sidewalk or helping the frail and fearful cross the roads - that would be going too far.
A published pre-wiring benchmark photo illustrating the story showed every seat occupied by citizens of all ages, not fondling each other but caressing their cellphones. The picture didn’t reveal their preoccupation - but we modernists keep abreast of developments.
They were using VPNs, like most do to by-pass the morality cops and so watch Vimeo or whatever they like,cloud free. Maybe even Beyoncé’s splendid god-given physique.
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Undeterred the couples are now getting down and dirty on the grass among flowerbeds, likely to be sprayed with herbicide once the decorum detectives sniff villainy.
But that’s not all. Security squads will ensure bosom pals don’t go literal. . Duties of the men in black (Motto: We Hate Life So You Must Too) don’t include stopping bikers riding on the sidewalk or helping the frail and fearful cross the roads - that would be going too far.
A published pre-wiring benchmark photo illustrating the story showed every seat occupied by citizens of all ages, not fondling each other but caressing their cellphones. The picture didn’t reveal their preoccupation - but we modernists keep abreast of developments.
They were using VPNs, like most do to by-pass the morality cops and so watch Vimeo or whatever they like,cloud free. Maybe even Beyoncé’s splendid god-given physique.
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