BTW: Seeking customer
service? Don’t bank on it
Business management is one of the most popular courses
offered by universities here and overseas.
In the US
three times more students enroll than for education.
Undergrads presumably think a biz degree is a passport to
profit, though the smarter ones must be asking:
‘If my teacher knows so much about running a company, why isn’t she
doing that and making 50 times more money?’
Most courses have a unit on Keeping Customers Happy. Topics taught include the importance of
repeat trade from satisfied clients.
That means encouraging buyer feedback.
The best way is for staff to talk to patrons. But that would mean human communication,
which takes time, which is money. If
there’s someone in your home over 70, ask if they can recall the days when bank
tellers knew names and gave service.
Now the cheapest way to relate is by using computers to ask
cellphones through on-line questionnaires.
On the screen there’s often a wee icon of a steaming cup of coffee suggesting
the process will be relaxing. Or maybe
the machine runs on caffeine. It tells
you: ‘It will take only two minutes.’
That’s lie Number One.
Add a zero to the ‘two’. Most
forms start by asking for more personal information than a request for a ten
billion rupiah loan to build a casino in Aceh.
Then follows a series of boxes to tick. If these are irrelevant and left blank, or
you don’t want to give your phone number for fear of harassment, the system
won’t accept your complaint.
If that obstacle is overcome expect an anodyne response
starting with the line: ‘Thanks for completing – your views are important to
us’.
That’s lie Number Two.
Provided targets are being met and the income line forever heading north
then the business taking your cash couldn’t care a damp fag end for your
thoughts. Proof of this cynicism comes a
few lines further:
‘Due to the vast correspondence received, we may not be able
to answer your message personally. But
be assured your opinions will be analyzed by our team.’
That’s lie Number Three.
‘Team’ is the new buzzword suggesting a group of elite athletes, like
Manchester United or the New York Yankees, are huddling over your concerns and
building a game plan response.
The reality is that your ‘feedback’ goes into the digital
version of a paper shredder. That’s not
salient to the company. More important
is that the corporate goal of establishing Customer Relations has been achieved. Management can now tick another box.
In some countries there are tough Consumer Protection laws
and agencies. There’s one in Indonesia
though it’s as ferocious as a drowned moggy in the Ciliwung. An effective deterrent is publishing names of
miscreants.
If you’ve built a corporate brand featuring TV starlets
dancing with delight after using your product, a headline revealing your
business treats customers like billygoats during Idul Kurban (the Feast of Sacrifice) may not assist sales.
Remember Hillary Clinton in 2016 getting caught saying
Donald Trump supporters were ‘a basket of deplorables’? That didn’t help draw too many wavering voters
to the Democrats.
Smart managers realize it’s best to treat complainants
seriously and give the refund rather than spending greater sums in battling bureaucrats. The dopes dig in for a war of attrition
hoping the customer will have a stroke after calling and texting 50 times and
getting no reply.
Banks and telecommunication services cop the most anguish,
and here it becomes a test of strength.
Who’s most powerful – the people or business?
In Australia
the answer became clear when a Royal Commission was called to investigate the
behavior of financial institutions. In
this open forum and against detailed submissions from angry customers the banks
were forced to admit misconduct.
Commissioner Kenneth Hayne pondered why and last year concluded
the answer was greed – ‘the pursuit of short term profit at the expense of
basic standards of honesty..... From the executive suite to the front line,
staff were measured and rewarded by reference to profit and sales.’
Is that happening here?
There’s no space in this paper to detail the wrongs Mr Hayne
listed – but one example tells much:
Banks were charging fees for financial advice to customers. Many were dead, some for a decade, so no
feedback.
The computers never noticed because the questionnaires
failed to ask: ‘Are you still alive?
Tick Yes or No.’ Duncan Graham
(First published in The Jakarta Post 29 February 2020)
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