BTW: No spitting in Sydney or bigamy in Brisbane
Considering
Australia for a vacation, study or work?
Prior to passing through avenues of airport scanners you’ll be polishing
your English to better interact with the locals and comprehend the culture.
Fortunately
advice is available courtesy of a government booklet Life in Australia.
The copyright page has a twee symbol indicating the availability of interpreter
services but translates more like three beer bottles. Those familiar with Australian pastimes might
consider the image apt.
There are
facts about the island continent’s geography; this useful information indicates
why walking from Perth to Brisbane via the Simpson Desert is a mite unwise. It
also reveals that laws prohibit racial discrimination. To know more about this advanced legislation
ask an Aboriginal person.
There are
tips on proper behavior, such as waiting quietly in a queue to be served. The author wrote this advice after
experiencing Soekarno-Hatta check-in counters.
The first
queue you’ll encounter at Sydney will be with radar-eyed quarantine
officers. They know with biblical
certainty that every wayang kulit souvenir harbors prohibited tropical
insects.
Don’t argue
– the free speech lauded in LIA doesn’t start till you’re safely beyond the
customs hall and can use your cellphone.
Saying
‘please’ and ‘thank you’ is recommended.
Particularly to anyone wearing a Border Force uniform, dark glasses and
carrying a gun. Welcome to Australia.
It’s hard
to know whether the section on clothing is meant to entice or repel visitors.
The brochure explains that some beachgoers wear ‘little clothing’ and that
there are designated nudist beaches.
To avoid
misunderstandings these are defined as places ‘where people may swim without
any costume or clothing’.
Tourists
keen to get the bare facts about the folks Down Under having fun in the sun
should not assume that those showing skin have ‘low moral standards.’ What they often have is melanoma.
Imagine
your naughty GPS inadvertently takes you to a nudist beach. You reluctantly stop to goggle and giggle,
then find your emotions aroused. Take
care. Rant and rage, but don’t spit. Impolite, says the brochure.
If inclined
to sing the national anthem praising a land ‘girt by sea’, the lyrics are
provided. You may need to lend a copy to
a local; Indonesians know every word of Indonesia Raya. Australians have
problems reciting both verses of Advance Australia Fair.
Two lines
read: For those who’ve come across
the seas / We’ve boundless plains to share. Some have taken these welcomes literally and
set sail from Cilacap for the promised land. They’re now sharing cramped
detention in Papua New Guinea’s jungles.
Never confuse songs with statutes.
Keen to
meet traditional Aussie families? Take your
pick from ‘single parents, step and blended families, same sex couples and
couples living together and not formally married’.
No morality
alert, but a warning: Although the
arrangements above are legal, having an extra wife is not. Though gay and lesbian pairings are OK,
polygamy is off the marital menu.
The
contradictions of cultures are well illustrated: Australians have ‘a
deep suspicion of authority’ yet are ‘mostly … conformist’. Sounds like
Indonesians.
Understanding
the language helps so definitions have been added. The world knows ‘Barbie’ as a doll. In Australia it’s a
barbecue. Get it right: Grilled plastic
is not fantastic.
To
‘barrack’ doesn’t always refer to soldiers returning to their huts. It might be a verb about supporting a sporting
team.
A ‘digger’
is an excavator. It’s also a soldier. A
‘shout’ is a raised voice, – and an offer to pay for all the drinks in a
bar. I hope this clarifies the
situation.
An Okker
can be either ‘a boorish, uncouth, chauvinistic Australian’ or someone
displaying ‘good humor, helpfulness and resourcefulness.’ No need to fly south to meet either group –
the first will be in Kuta, the rest in Ubud.
The other
good news is that in Australia ‘all jobs and professions are open to men and
women’. This was well illustrated by
former Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s Cabinet: Only two were women.
Now the
Republic plans to lure more tourists it’s time for a brochure explaining
Indonesian values. It could point out
that President Jokowi’s cabinet has eight women.
(First published in The Jakarta Post Sunday 20 September 2015)
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