The unmet needs of heaven’s flowers
Today (21 March) is World Down Syndrome Day, recognizing ‘the
value, acceptance and inclusion’ of people with the genetic disorder. But as Duncan
Graham found, there’s little to cheer about in Indonesia other than the resilience
of brave families.
Let’s celebrate heroes without uniforms, people like Aning
Nurul, 39, and her husband Romadhan, 41. Eleven years ago the East Java
couple’s comfortable world was suddenly grabbed, roughly shaken and tossed
back, never to be the same again.
Ihsan Faiz, their darling second son, had been diagnosed as
one in a thousand - a Down Syndrome child.
“When he was born all seemed OK,” said Aning. “There were no
signs of anything unusual. Our first son
Ardiansyah had been born two years earlier and he was quite normal.
“Slowly we noticed Ihsan wasn’t developing as fast as his
brother. We saw four doctors who weren’t
interested. The fifth understood.”
Down Syndrome, named after a 19th century British doctor who
first identified the incurable condition, develops when the body has an extra
chromosome. The causes are complex and
still little understood. Only one per cent are linked to the child’s
hereditary.
Precise figures are elusive, but using World Health
Organization statistics an estimated 4,500 DS children are born every year in
Indonesia, the majority boys. Although official figures aren’t kept, a parents’
support group believes around 300,000 Indonesians have DS.
Typically DS kids have stunted growth, flattened facial
features and speech problems. Given proper health care they can often live into
their 50s, though in the past many died young. In the West a few DS people have
graduated from university and achieved in the arts.
They are prone to other health problems, particularly heart
disease, and usually have low intelligence, though Ihsan is in the less severe
group. He can speak a little, play
computer games and use the toilet. He
radiates joy.
After hearing the news the family unblinkingly confronted
their new reality. Lesser folk and those
genuinely unable to cope because Indonesia is not a welfare state, would have
dumped the boy in a home for the disabled. Aning and Romadhan chose to give
love, unqualified and abundant.
“This is part of God’s plan, and whatever He gives us is the
best,” said Romadhan. “Who are we to understand why? There is a reason.”
Many couples split under the pressure of caring for a
handicapped child. Blaming is hard to resist. Others move closer. “We no longer quarrel over
silly things,” laughed Aning. “We’ve
grown to be more patient with each other.”
Though not with the way they’ve been treated, by the medical
profession, teachers and the community of Sidoarjo, near Surabaya, where they
once lived.
To have a disabled child was proof of parental sin to cruel
neighbors, whose mutterings, stares and snubs scratched the couple’s pain,
particularly as Romadhan was often away in Jakarta working as an airline
aviation inspector.
“We tried to ignore the gossip but it was everywhere,” he
said. “We were judged through ignorance. The situation became worse when we
tried to enrol Ihsan at school. No-one would accept him.
“The education and welfare of children is part of our
Constitution. But the law is not being
upheld and no one seems to care. We want
Ihsan to grow into an independent man, to reach his full potential.
“We’re an educated professional couple and I have a good
job. We know how to get things done and
where to protest, yet we still get little more than embarrassed nods. So imagine how difficult it must be for poor
villagers.”
Four years ago the family moved to Lawang, Aning’s home town. Here the smaller community was more accepting.
The couple got to know others with handicapped kids, to share experiences and
provide mutual support.
As a bonus a local school was happy to take on the
responsibility. (See sidebar)
Pre-natal screening can diagnose genetic defects and offer
the mother termination, a choice frequently taken in the West. “I would never
have had an abortion,” said Aning. “Whatever God has given me is the best.”
Ihsan is close to his father and occasionally accompanies
him on aircraft inspections to crew members’ amazement and the boy’s delight.
“So many families try to shut away their handicapped kids
for shame,” Romadhan said. “Don’t hide
your children. They are the stars of every family, the flowers of heaven.
Father and son rubbed noses and cuddled, the tough engineer whose
signature can ground an Airbus, and the chuckling, vulnerable boy who gently
strokes the family cat.
“This is Ihsan,” said Romadhan facing his visitors with
pride. “This is my special son.”
Caring schools
Ar-Roihan is a private Islamic school in Lawang with 365
students, 19 of them disabled. The principal, Lailil Qomariyah (in photo, left), follows the
reasoning of a 2010 Australian report advocating inclusive education in
Indonesia for children with special needs.
“Why not? she asked. “All handicapped kids are God’s children
and have a right to education. I want to run a caring school, whatever the
condition of the students.”
Lailil has trained Khukmi, one of her teacher aides, to
specialise in caring for DS students. The school has submitted a proposal to
the education department for resources, training programs and a proper
curriculum, hoping for a response mid-year.
Lailil said officials’ responses have concentrated on the
difficulties rather than the benefits
“An inclusive school doesn’t just help those with special
needs,” she said. “They mix with the
other children who accept them as they are.”
In Malang YPAC, a private rehabilitation center and school,
cares for 70 handicapped students, including eight with DS. Some live in
permanently. Principal Endang Haryani, a
former engineer who volunteers her services, said most of the children came
from poor families and had been rejected by mainstream schools.
“We just ask them to pay what they can,” she said. “The law
says they should be accepted by schools, but the law’s not being applied.”
YPAC is not associated with any religious group. It costs Rp 1.5 billion (US$ 140,000) a year
to run. The shortfall comes from donors,
mainly individuals. Endang said she’d
rejected funds from a tobacco company.
“We can’t do that,” she said. “We’re promoting good health.”
(Breakout two)
I am, I can
Persatuan Orang Tua Anak
Dengan Down Syndrome (POTADS), the Association of Parents with DS children,
started late last century to empower parents to cope, share information and
ensure their kids have the same rights as others.
POTADS has around 1000 members. It’s based in Tangerang and
has five regional branches. Its motto is: I am, I can.
Director Noni Fadhilah, who has an independent adult
daughter with DS working in an office, said public ignorance made parenting
unnecessarily harder, and judging caused great stress.
“A future program will help religious leaders understand DS
is not a curse so they can inform their
congregations,” she said. “This is an
issue we’ll confront when a new law is passed requiring companies to employ
disabled people.
“At the moment we’re focussing on getting parents to
therapists and
helping DS children become self-sufficient so they are not helpless when the
parents eventually die.”
(Breakout
three)
Easy to love
Children
with DS tend to be more gentle and caring than those without the condition,
according to clinical psychologist Diantini Ida Viatrie.
“In my
studies over seven years I’ve noticed that they naturally help others without
wondering whether that’s right,” she said. “I’ve never seen any angry. They are easy to love and please. They have
special abilities.”
Diantini,
who lectures at two universities in Malang, also assesses the IQ of children
with DS and advises teachers and parents on issues like sibling rivalry when
normal children feel neglected.
“Families
need to make changes so their children don’t hurt themselves and they need to
be patient. The children have the right to live a normal life.”
“Relatives
and friends should not shower pity on a family with a DS child. Such emotions
are unhelpful”.
She
acknowledged that in the future there’s likely to be proportionately more DS
kids in Indonesia than Western countries where pre-natal testing and abortion
are options.
“I have
a positive view of my society,” she said. “Indonesians will help and support
their neighbors with a handicapped child – that’s our culture. However, sadly,
there’s still much ignorance about DS.”
##
(First published in The Jakarta Post 21 March 2014)
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